It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love. Only love will truly save the world.

-Wonder Woman

  • I might plan on seeing Wonder Woman at least one more time.  Definitely worth more viewing.  Have a vacation next week, so that will probably happen then.
  • I am right on track with where I was hoping to be as far as comics are concerned.  Inking is moving right along and I’ve got a good number of sketch cards/tiles drawn up.  Thinking about giving away a bunch of the tiles I did for practice.  Characters like Batman, Superman, Doctor Strange, Chandra from MTG, etc.  Noticed my Instagram has shifted pretty heavily to artwork–mostly my original projects too–and I’m pretty pleased with that.  Not that I’m not going to post the occasional Flex Friday selfie or cat pic, but I’m pleased to be using it mostly for art.
  • Funny story.  Last Friday I was getting Jeep worked on and I was walking down the street.  I come to an intersection and this car is coming across in front of me as I approach.  Somebody in the car shouts something, couldn’t quite make it out.  I look up and it looks like a group of young women in the car and as it goes by, the girl in the front passenger seat sticks her head out and makes a gesture for oral sex at me.  I just kind of stood there stupidly thinking, “Wait… What… Come back!  I want a BJ!”  Kind of silly, douchy response, but it was a bit of a silly situation.
  • A friend of mine was suggesting I look at jobs in Wisconsin.  I’m just generally like, “Wisconsin?  Seriously?”  I heard it’s a lot like Vermont, but you know what’s a lot like Vermont?  Vermont.  I like Vermont.  I like New England.  I’m not convinced I don’t have opportunities here.  And beyond farming itself–if only because it might have more of the diversity I am looking for–I’m not really that interested in Dairy Processing.  I’d like to learn something new.  Maybe there’s an observation about LMCBW’s sister and their dynamic on a level as well.  One of the things about that I think people ignored in that was the unsustainable nature of their move to Nevada and I saw a questionable pattern forming.  Her parents visit one week, a cousin the next.  Another cousin a few weeks later,  LMCBW a week or two later.  Aunts and uncles after that.  The sister comes back to VT for a few weeks in August and around Christmas.  That was kind of the reason I never expressed a strong desire to visit them at the time.  While I acknowledge my family operates differently, I would have little interest in starting a regular criss-crossing of the country.  It would get exhausting and does little good for anyone involved.  Plus, I’m in the middle of getting off my ass about making comics.  Moving across the country would just be one more distraction.
  • I talked about human sexuality the other day, and I’ve been thinking on that some more.  Probably because it is Pride Month.  Like most of the structures of our lives, we’re conditioned into thinking a certain way about things.  Sexual Orientation is no different.  If our tastes and preferences in what we look for in relationships can shift, if we can fall in and out of love like we do, it only makes sense that orientation and our views on it has the potential to shift as well.  We’re conditioned by centuries of ideology to believe that monogamous heterosexual relationships are the ideal.  Which makes it harder to question the truth of that.  I am straight, but I admit that isn’t nearly as simple of a statement as it seems.  I think the important thing to remember is that love and life are change.  Love people for what they could be as much as what they are.
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Honesty

June 10, 2017

Honesty is the best policy.

Feel this a relevant topic of conversation for a number of reasons.  One of the things I’ve discussed in the past is privacy.  Primarily on that is one where I acknowledge our lives are so interconnected that it often feels like we don’t have any.  An off-hand comment here or there triggered a flood of gossip about your happiness with someone or something.  How stuff can be posted so only your friends can see it on Facebook or whatever, but they say something and almost everybody knows about it.  Kind of think of it as the post privacy world.  Regardless of whether or not we care or if it is our business, word gets around.

It is with that in mind that I’ve been trying to establish a much more honest approach to life.  Because if stuff is just going to get around, why be dishonest?

I’ve found that honesty with one’s self is important.  I made mistakes.  I acknowledged a number of them in my employee reviews the last couple of years and was probably more honest than I should have been.  But does not acknowledging a problem I’m seeing really solve anything?  Does my not telling them that I’m looking for work elsewhere make things better or easier on anyone?  No.  You don’t solve a problem by denying it is there.  If I deem it a good and honest solution, I won’t hesitate to make that decision.

Work isn’t the only place I’ve made mistakes.  On my end, it was general not getting my head out of my ass about a few things than not.  Bad timing for a number of reasons.  I understand that and accept that.

Honesty goes hand in hand with understanding and acceptance.  To be honest with myself about anything–work, relationships, people in general–I had to reach better understandings of a few things.  Be honest about the things I let slide that caused problem later on, understand what they were and their consequences.  Be honest about the things I didn’t want to admit.  It is hard for people to be honest because there is a fear of going too far.  Especially about themselves and the things we don’t entirely understand about ourselves.

No place is that better explained than human gender and sexuality.  I’m going to make a bit of a bold statement that I think people will disagree with.  Heterosexuality is dying out.  No need to panic, the human race will continue.  However, facts must be acknowledged.  I read an article not that long ago about how more women experiment with other women than ever before.  Men might be doing so as well, but the traditional macho-masculine response is much more conditioned into men.  In my personal experience, while I have not necessarily met a guy or trans or whatever that inspired me to take action and am not convinced I ever will, there are aspects of some men I have found attractive.  Probably won’t have much result from it, but I acknowledge it.  For all purposes I am a straight male, but I ask how much of that is social conditioning into a norm.  This is also why I’ve tried not to think of myself as “Male” or “Straight” but just as “Human.”  We got too many fucking labels anyway and we live with too much fluidity.  It is easier to grok people if we stop thinking of them as something else and think of them as only human.

My point is, there is a lot of dishonesty out there and it is not solving anything.  On any level.  We need to start being honest with each other and ourselves.

I just finished rereading Stranger In A Strange Land the other day, a few things stick out to me.  I talked about the novel to some extent when I opened it back up a few weeks ago, but now it has been refreshed in my mind I feel I’ve grokked a few things more thoroughly lately than I have.

One of the more interest aspects of the story is the inclusion of Doctor Mahmoud–or “Stinky” as his friends refer to him–a Muslim who is part of the crew that first encounters Michael Smith on Mars and becomes one of his first “Water Brothers”.  There are two points he makes about Islam that stick out to me.  One is the translation and interpretation of the Koran.  Over the course of the novel, it is made fairly clear that Martian does not necessarily translate well into English words or concepts.  A fairly direct comparison made in the novel is how difficult it is to translate the Koran.  Mahmoud and Jubal discuss concepts of the Koran but are quick to point out that there are nuances lost in translation.

The other point about Islam is when Mahmoud points how the Prophet never stated that his words were the final gospel or that he was the last prophet.  It fits a point I’ve been kind of trying to make about Islam in that it is a relatively young religion and that there is still potential there.  The “needs seasoning” metaphor is one of the more overt points made in the course of the novel and Mahmoud’s comments about the Prophet fit that.  You have to take some ideas of any religion–even your own–with a grain of salt.

 

The overall concept of grokking and growing closer is the other thing I think I’ve come to grasp a bit more thoroughly now.  Like our billion names for “God”, we seem to be coming up with a billion different names for sexuality.  Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual Transsexual, Pansexual… and so on… Sometimes it feels like we need all these terms just to make us feel closer to grokking ourselves than we truly do.  It is all human.  I grok that and there is beauty there.   I guess I’m rambling now, I probably should go to sleep.

I got a few points bouncing around my head I wanted to touch on.  A bit on work/home separation, human nature… might tie some of this into a NaNoWriMo thing… Not sure yet…

The struggle of balancing work time and personal time has been something on my mind lately.  I saw something not that long ago about how Google has set up a gym and laundromat at their corporate offices, and I believe other places have implemented similar benefits.  Not necessarily a huge fan of this.

I actually have begun to turn down overtime if only because I feel work is trying too hard to take over more of my time.  I’ve been getting more concerned about how this impacts any number of things I wish to accomplish outside of work.  Our culture expects us to “get the job done” at whatever the cost, but that cost is ever growing.

An interesting  thought occurs to me in thinking about how I was considering a venture into farming over the last couple of years.  Mostly in that the separation is very difficult to consistently maintain in that industry.  That was one of my bigger concerns in that particular aspect if only because farming tends to be more of a lifestyle than a job.  Not impossible to find balance, but I would at least acknowledge the challenge.

I think it is an American thing, and not necessarily a healthy one.  We should have the people to make it easier to disconnect and live.  Just a thought.

 

 

First Statement:  People are silly.  I find myself thinking this due to a comment somebody made at work about how “men should use the men’s room and women should use the women’s room”.  There might have been a cheap shot about Hermaphrodites in there.  But what occurred to me is this:  Isn’t the whole premise kind of silly in the first place?  Isn’t it kind of sad we’re still at a point where we require separate bathrooms?  I totally understand the reasons why and they are legit.  As a culture, we’ve still got a lot of work to do in regards to respect and equality.  Really just stating the obvious there.

Second Statement:  Humans are not binary.  Lumping everybody into male or female, straight or gay just doesn’t work.  It never really has.  I was reading something not that long ago about how the percentage of women who have at least considered being with another woman is something in the neighborhood of sixty or seventy percent.  Guys are probably less inclined to take such a question serious enough to get real information on that, but I would admit to having given thought to what such things might be like at one point or another.  No intention of following through, but I would at least acknowledge the consideration.  Point is, we’re beyond the point where the binary designation apply.

Just another week, I suppose.

  • Found out one of the Michael’s up in Burlington carries Copic Markers.  I’ve been slowly building up my range of markers as I need a color or two.  Been using them primarily on sketch tiles, going to do some bookmarks in the near future.  Mostly I just like using the Copic Markers, can do a lot with them.  Been posting a lot of those drawings on dA or Instagram, seem to be coming out well.  Might do some larger stuff in the near future.  Not quite sure what yet.
  • Got distracted from finishing the last page in Issue #1 of Order of the Dragon.  Bought art boards for doing comic pages by hand, smaller than the stuff I bought in NYC a couple of years back.  These might be a bit more manageable than those.  Might try to do a short comic for Halloween with them.
  • Checked out a gym in Williston yesterday morning.  Place called Lift VT.  Huge warehouse gym, I really liked the range of weights, machines and overall options they offered.  Wish I had planned more time to just fuck around and try stuff.  Liked it better than my normal place for a number of reasons and planning to make it a regular thing to hit up other gyms.  At the very least, I liked the change of scenery.
  • Also visited a new comics and games store in Williston, a place called Killer Rabbit Comics and Games.  Only been open a month, grand opening supposed to happen this weekend.  Bought some comics, some dice and a dice bag while I was there.  Lovely little store, look forward to seeing what they do going forward.
  • Continuing to reflect on the post I did on a woman’s responsibility a bit.  I do feel those roles and responsibilities are changing, whether people like it or not.  Gender roles, sexuality, rules and expectations in regards to those… I feel like we’re in the middle of a revolution of sorts where a lot of the barriers and limitations are being challenged.
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