Grokking Truths

February 16, 2017

I like to occasionally take a moment to reflect on why I’ve been really trying to do a regular blog.  As I said when I was talking about the idea of Truth and how we struggle to speak them sometimes, one of my goals was to better understand the Truths in their fullness.  To grok them, if you will.  I will admit I did get sidetracked at times, but that was really the fundamental goal.  To grok what it is to be human and how to be a better human.  To better grok our world.  There has been some success and some failure, things I was right and wrong about.  When you understand the Truths of the world you live in, it becomes easier to develop the ideas necessary to build a better one.

A Truth I’ve come to accept lately is that humans are in too much of a hurry.  Like I said about the tendency to “Hurry Up and Wait” in people, we get into such a rush sometimes that all it leads to is waiting for the next thing to happen and the inaction can be worse than anything.  When I was in a relationship at about the two year mark, my ex and her cousin got together and planned out a whole wedding–best man, groomsmen, bridesmaids, color arrangements, etc.–and texted me about this when I was at work.  I believe it concluded with the message: “All you have to do is propose.”  At the time, I wanted to make sure we had a clearer plan about our future–housing, her family’s farm, etc.–but I had been giving some serious thought to proposing around that time.  After that exchange, I chose not to out of annoyance.  I think I shot back, “Why doesn’t your cousin just do it for me?”  I was annoyed, but then again, I was being pressured into something I had simply waiting for the right moment to do.  My own annoyance there might have been a bit of self-destruction on my part.  My point is, you get into a rush, you miss details and then you wonder why things go to pieces in the end.

Truths are important to acknowledge and I like to think I have come to realize many.  I’d like to touch on a few.

  • It is necessary to move beyond the binary–male/female, gay/straight, liberal/conservative, etc.–and think in terms of just being human.  Maybe an oversimplified approach, but it does prevent the traditional labels from interfering.  All of the words for human do little to add to the conversation, only muddling up what should be a picture of progress.  It will take a long time, but I like to think we’re getting closer.
  • Humans are too self-destructive.  I’ve covered a lot of the ways I’ve done damage to myself and I realize how hard it can be to stop self-destructing.  And the worst thing about that can be how we keep trying to tell ourselves how doing these things will somehow make things better even though we know they won’t.  And chances we don’t take out of fear where the stagnation only makes things worse.
  • One thing I’ve noticed is how nothing is really private in the sense that ripple effects hit a lot of people and everything goes outward.  When I went through a break-up after a three year relationship, I actually spent some time talking to her mother and sister in part for their input on her actions and in part to make sure they knew it wasn’t really my decision and if she was willing to listen and work things out we would have.  I felt like that was a half-way decent human being thing to do as I thought of them as family.  This last December, her mother actually sent me a message on FB wishing me a happy birthday.  I didn’t reciprocate for hers, but I wish I had.  However, I guess my ex never really felt the need to make contact with my mother after the break-up, despite numerous declarations of how “if we break up, I’m keeping your mother.”  My mother actually has expressed some offense over that and even declined to go to a wedding just to avoid seeing my ex.  My point is, the ripples will have an impact.  Not just in relationships, but there are ripples and aftershocks to almost every action we do.  I could probably come up with some work stories, but this is the one that springs to mind.

I got a few points bouncing around my head I wanted to touch on.  A bit on work/home separation, human nature… might tie some of this into a NaNoWriMo thing… Not sure yet…

The struggle of balancing work time and personal time has been something on my mind lately.  I saw something not that long ago about how Google has set up a gym and laundromat at their corporate offices, and I believe other places have implemented similar benefits.  Not necessarily a huge fan of this.

I actually have begun to turn down overtime if only because I feel work is trying too hard to take over more of my time.  I’ve been getting more concerned about how this impacts any number of things I wish to accomplish outside of work.  Our culture expects us to “get the job done” at whatever the cost, but that cost is ever growing.

An interesting  thought occurs to me in thinking about how I was considering a venture into farming over the last couple of years.  Mostly in that the separation is very difficult to consistently maintain in that industry.  That was one of my bigger concerns in that particular aspect if only because farming tends to be more of a lifestyle than a job.  Not impossible to find balance, but I would at least acknowledge the challenge.

I think it is an American thing, and not necessarily a healthy one.  We should have the people to make it easier to disconnect and live.  Just a thought.

 

 

First Statement:  People are silly.  I find myself thinking this due to a comment somebody made at work about how “men should use the men’s room and women should use the women’s room”.  There might have been a cheap shot about Hermaphrodites in there.  But what occurred to me is this:  Isn’t the whole premise kind of silly in the first place?  Isn’t it kind of sad we’re still at a point where we require separate bathrooms?  I totally understand the reasons why and they are legit.  As a culture, we’ve still got a lot of work to do in regards to respect and equality.  Really just stating the obvious there.

Second Statement:  Humans are not binary.  Lumping everybody into male or female, straight or gay just doesn’t work.  It never really has.  I was reading something not that long ago about how the percentage of women who have at least considered being with another woman is something in the neighborhood of sixty or seventy percent.  Guys are probably less inclined to take such a question serious enough to get real information on that, but I would admit to having given thought to what such things might be like at one point or another.  No intention of following through, but I would at least acknowledge the consideration.  Point is, we’re beyond the point where the binary designation apply.

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