Your man’s gotta answer for his words, Burr.

-Hamilton (Listening to this a lot since I downloaded it)

Just a quick rant before I talk about comics.

Kind of expanding on what I was thinking about with honesty the other day, I was thinking the inverse.  When to keep one’s mouth shut.  This is a bit inspired by some of the political goings on right now, as I reflect on the general feeling of whiplash we get from our President and his statements on a variety of matters.  And how he often works against himself and his political allies in a variety of ways.  I think his tweets alone are the basis for a legal argument against a variety of policies and have often worsened a variety of situations.  Politicians as a rule tend to be very careful in what they say.  Because it will come back to haunt them.

My basic rule has always been to stand by what I say and if I cannot defend it, I shouldn’t be saying it.  Be it work, LMCBW, or whatever else.  I have a simple rule in place to stand by what I say.  To have the integrity to stand by what I say and defend it with evidence and thought out arguments.  One of the reasons I have never felt conflicted about any topic I discussed is that I put together arguments supported by what I believe to be facts and evidence.  In part because it can be easier to stick to logical, factual ideas rather than the fleeting promises of believe.  And I intend to stand by the views I put forward without denying the possibility that there is new evidence that my point of view might have missed.  Could always be more to learn.

 

And… Comics.

Had a brief respite from working on actual comics.  Just needed a bit of a recharge.  Did a few sketch cards.  Got twenty or so about done.  About halfway through the inking for the first issue.  Going to start lettering in the next few days.  Did a Draw-In thing yesterday with a few comic creators I’ve been connecting with in the area.  It was tiring being social for a few hours.  Cool people at least.One guy recommend a site for free fonts to use in lettering.  Already downloaded a couple and planning to get started soon.

Looking where my comics are right now, I think I could have been tabling this year at VTCC.  Mostly I just didn’t have my shit together.  Story of my life really.  I might try to be ready for a con later in the fall.

Honesty

June 10, 2017

Honesty is the best policy.

Feel this a relevant topic of conversation for a number of reasons.  One of the things I’ve discussed in the past is privacy.  Primarily on that is one where I acknowledge our lives are so interconnected that it often feels like we don’t have any.  An off-hand comment here or there triggered a flood of gossip about your happiness with someone or something.  How stuff can be posted so only your friends can see it on Facebook or whatever, but they say something and almost everybody knows about it.  Kind of think of it as the post privacy world.  Regardless of whether or not we care or if it is our business, word gets around.

It is with that in mind that I’ve been trying to establish a much more honest approach to life.  Because if stuff is just going to get around, why be dishonest?

I’ve found that honesty with one’s self is important.  I made mistakes.  I acknowledged a number of them in my employee reviews the last couple of years and was probably more honest than I should have been.  But does not acknowledging a problem I’m seeing really solve anything?  Does my not telling them that I’m looking for work elsewhere make things better or easier on anyone?  No.  You don’t solve a problem by denying it is there.  If I deem it a good and honest solution, I won’t hesitate to make that decision.

Work isn’t the only place I’ve made mistakes.  On my end, it was general not getting my head out of my ass about a few things than not.  Bad timing for a number of reasons.  I understand that and accept that.

Honesty goes hand in hand with understanding and acceptance.  To be honest with myself about anything–work, relationships, people in general–I had to reach better understandings of a few things.  Be honest about the things I let slide that caused problem later on, understand what they were and their consequences.  Be honest about the things I didn’t want to admit.  It is hard for people to be honest because there is a fear of going too far.  Especially about themselves and the things we don’t entirely understand about ourselves.

No place is that better explained than human gender and sexuality.  I’m going to make a bit of a bold statement that I think people will disagree with.  Heterosexuality is dying out.  No need to panic, the human race will continue.  However, facts must be acknowledged.  I read an article not that long ago about how more women experiment with other women than ever before.  Men might be doing so as well, but the traditional macho-masculine response is much more conditioned into men.  In my personal experience, while I have not necessarily met a guy or trans or whatever that inspired me to take action and am not convinced I ever will, there are aspects of some men I have found attractive.  Probably won’t have much result from it, but I acknowledge it.  For all purposes I am a straight male, but I ask how much of that is social conditioning into a norm.  This is also why I’ve tried not to think of myself as “Male” or “Straight” but just as “Human.”  We got too many fucking labels anyway and we live with too much fluidity.  It is easier to grok people if we stop thinking of them as something else and think of them as only human.

My point is, there is a lot of dishonesty out there and it is not solving anything.  On any level.  We need to start being honest with each other and ourselves.

Privacy as a Myth

February 19, 2016

I said something this in conversation not that long ago, how privacy is a myth.  And in today’s world, can we really believe otherwise?  People’s entire lives are online, always a click away from the world seeing them.  Or a computer glitch away.  Even the stuff we intend to keep private and to our “Friends Only” will get out eventually.  I think most people are aware of this, even if they don’t choose to acknowledge it.

This has been bouncing around my head since I said it in response to somebody trying to warn me about stuff I write in this blog and how it’s where anyone can read it.  Human nature has told me when given an opportunity, people will talk.  Even when I’m Facebook, I’ve said something in a private, “Friends Only” setting, only to have it run wild around work in the following days.  It doesn’t matter how secure you think stuff is, it will get out.

When I was going through a break-up last year, I had no less than a dozen people suggest she had been cheating on me–never seriously entertained that notion myself, mostly because it doesn’t really matter.  There were lines I didn’t cross in anything I said–admittedly I got excited and engaged in some hyperbole and exaggeration, occasionally going a couple steps too far.  Those opinions were ones people asked me about on occasion and I was likely to say some things one way or the other.  I would rather have anything attributed to me be something I know I said, not a second hand distortion.

And we do have a high level of modesty and concern about giving “too much information.”  Kind of a bad habit at times, because that can a blurry line.  For instance, my embarrassment at having read the Kamasutra last year.  Sexuality can be a challenging subject in the best of times–say nothing of stretch where loved ones moved across the country, started a new job and moving–part of it being social conditioning as much as anything.  There were a lot of factors.  After all that had gone on, I had lost all confidence in myself.  Sexually, I didn’t even really want to try anymore just because I felt like I couldn’t do anything right.  At least that’s the way I felt.  Anyway, I wasn’t impressed with myself and that led me to study up a bit.  I figured it should be original article if I was going to study the subject.  And for the longest time I didn’t want to admit to reading it.  Kinda stupid really, even after she broke up with me.  I was trying to learn.  Nothing wrong with that, it doesn’t necessarily mean something bad.  We get conditioned into sex as a taboo, but it’s really just a part of life.

Admittedly, some people might need privacy.  It’s insulation against the world.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  But you can’t hide under a rock and assume you’re untouchable.  Human nature negates that possibility.  People talk.  If people don’t say anything, others will just make up whatever they deem worthy of filling in the gaps.  With that in mind, you might as well make sure people know what you have to say.

Valentine’s Day

February 13, 2016

Such a weird holiday when you really think about it.  Created primarily to honor St. Valentine, it has the secondary purpose of replacing Lupercalia.  Shame really, because Lupercalia seems like it would have been awesome.  But at the end of the day, what does it really mean?  Should we really need a holiday to recognize the love we feel for one another?  If I learned one lesson over the last year, it would be making sure that happens on some level every single day is more important than anything.  Regardless, it always felt like making a big deal about going through the motions when I was in a relationship on Valentine’s Day.  Make waffles… make cookies… Flowers and gifts… Whatever else might happen… Should we really need a special day to do all those things?  Valentine’s Day seems like it should be superfluous and almost unnecessary.

I might be a cynical bastard, but I’m sure there is a strong correlation between the date and the sales of chocolates and flowers and greeting cards.

Admittedly, my last relationship struggled in a lot of those areas, but then again, she was the one who broke up with me just after I started reading the Kamasutra.  Decent book by the way, very detailed.  Lot of general life stuff you don’t really think about in there as well.  Kind of the kick in the ass I needed to get my stuff together and realize a few things.  Always felt a bit embarrassed about reading what amounts to a sex manual though–still am I guess–so I never wanted to admit it.  Realized in the last couple of days how stupid that was.  Sex happens and it doesn’t always go perfectly–I had a bad moment or two and wanted to prevent more of those–so why be embarrassed by trying to learn more?  Thinking about something I said recently about how privacy is a myth, the conclusion I reached was “so why be embarrassed?”  Honesty is better.  Also was a bit concerned about some potential issues with myself trying some of the more challenging positions–concerned about my own flexibility and strength mostly.  Damn shame really, I really wanted to try a couple of those.  At least I got a useful resource for sexual positions when drawing sex scenes.

 

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