June 10, 2017

Honesty is the best policy.

Feel this a relevant topic of conversation for a number of reasons.  One of the things I’ve discussed in the past is privacy.  Primarily on that is one where I acknowledge our lives are so interconnected that it often feels like we don’t have any.  An off-hand comment here or there triggered a flood of gossip about your happiness with someone or something.  How stuff can be posted so only your friends can see it on Facebook or whatever, but they say something and almost everybody knows about it.  Kind of think of it as the post privacy world.  Regardless of whether or not we care or if it is our business, word gets around.

It is with that in mind that I’ve been trying to establish a much more honest approach to life.  Because if stuff is just going to get around, why be dishonest?

I’ve found that honesty with one’s self is important.  I made mistakes.  I acknowledged a number of them in my employee reviews the last couple of years and was probably more honest than I should have been.  But does not acknowledging a problem I’m seeing really solve anything?  Does my not telling them that I’m looking for work elsewhere make things better or easier on anyone?  No.  You don’t solve a problem by denying it is there.  If I deem it a good and honest solution, I won’t hesitate to make that decision.

Work isn’t the only place I’ve made mistakes.  On my end, it was general not getting my head out of my ass about a few things than not.  Bad timing for a number of reasons.  I understand that and accept that.

Honesty goes hand in hand with understanding and acceptance.  To be honest with myself about anything–work, relationships, people in general–I had to reach better understandings of a few things.  Be honest about the things I let slide that caused problem later on, understand what they were and their consequences.  Be honest about the things I didn’t want to admit.  It is hard for people to be honest because there is a fear of going too far.  Especially about themselves and the things we don’t entirely understand about ourselves.

No place is that better explained than human gender and sexuality.  I’m going to make a bit of a bold statement that I think people will disagree with.  Heterosexuality is dying out.  No need to panic, the human race will continue.  However, facts must be acknowledged.  I read an article not that long ago about how more women experiment with other women than ever before.  Men might be doing so as well, but the traditional macho-masculine response is much more conditioned into men.  In my personal experience, while I have not necessarily met a guy or trans or whatever that inspired me to take action and am not convinced I ever will, there are aspects of some men I have found attractive.  Probably won’t have much result from it, but I acknowledge it.  For all purposes I am a straight male, but I ask how much of that is social conditioning into a norm.  This is also why I’ve tried not to think of myself as “Male” or “Straight” but just as “Human.”  We got too many fucking labels anyway and we live with too much fluidity.  It is easier to grok people if we stop thinking of them as something else and think of them as only human.

My point is, there is a lot of dishonesty out there and it is not solving anything.  On any level.  We need to start being honest with each other and ourselves.


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