Revisiting a Speculative Exercise

January 20, 2017

So I was at work and somebody brought up a couple of our coworkers that are in the process of purchasing a house.  Good for them.  It brought to mind my own situation a bit, reminding me of a post I did last year about whether or not it would be better to buy or build a house.  Mostly I just want to think about anything but Donald Trump and politics.  As I said at the time, the financials of it are a set of wildly shifting factors that could skew it either way.  So I had more or less reached the conclusion that it would likely have the end cost of being about the same.

However, I have come to reevaluate that a bit.  The situation described in that consideration–and with my ex in general–was obviously an emotional maelstrom.  There really is no other way to describe it.  And that probably did slant the opinion of the house in general.

I don’t necessarily question the financial conclusions I reached in that first exercise.  However, I do have to speculate on standards and how best to reach them.  I like to think I have some high standards.  So the idea of buying a house and then immediately planning to redo the kitchen, basement, back porch, whatever else comes up… that makes me think “Even if we do all this work, will it meet our standards?”  That’s a hugely speculative question, but one worth considering.  I mean, yes I would love a huge kitchen where I could do a myriad of things.  But I would also love a large room devoted to being a library where you could read and lounge, maybe have that connected to the living room?  A real studio where I could draw or write in productive environment.  I had a few sketches and general floor plans drawn out, some of which I’ve posted online.

Point is, I like to think I have fairly high standards.  And the case of a home, I would prefer to think that can be a good thing.  In the course of looking at houses, those standards were the primary factor I struggled with.  Does this house or that one meet the standard for a place to start a family?  To build a life?

One of the things I’ve speculated on is the question of who’s life I’m living.  Who’s hopes and dreams am I trying to fulfill?  And how do those dreams become reality?  I do still have that dream once in awhile, where I wake up and get breakfast started while the dogs and cats are bounding behind me… do a little drawing or writing or reading as its cooking… feed the animals as my other half comes down–or bring breakfast up to her…  There are shifts here and there.  Obviously the leading lady has yet to be determined.  And I do feel like I’ve narrowed down the possible breeds of dogs to an Australian Shepherd or a Husky of some kind.

Point is, that dream is still there.  And I’ve figured out that the best way to meet those standards would probably be to build.  If there was one thing that I felt in the past was there was a lot of sacrifice of standards and compromise for convenience and emotion.  Not to criticize my ex’s sister or the brother-in-law, but the things I was looking for in a house were things that their old house wasn’t necessarily going to embody.

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